Do You Know Yourself?

Every now and then men hit on me. I mean, I wear my ring but they choose to ignore it–can you believe this? And so when that happens, which is often, I ask them in my spirit, “are you sure you want this? Like, are you 200% sure about this?” Reminds me of the fallen world, and how wicked are the fallen men. It is a humbling moment knowing how I escaped that corruption by the grace of God. Also, it drives compassion out of me for those men and people who are still in bondage, totally blinded by the prince of air.

When I met Dan, I didn’t know myself at all. I was in the world, doing my thing. He was in the world doing his thing–two heathens became one. A red lipstick, mascara and some high heel was enough to bring a fish to the net. Outward appearance was all I needed to satisfy my cravings.

How then could I do this great evil and sin against God?'Click To Tweet

I didn’t know myself, I didn’t know Dan. All I saw is his pleasantness in my eyes. Yes, he has a big heart plus he bought me sushi? First time ever eating sushi. I was smitten. Dan didn’t rush into my panties. Definitely that sealed the deal. But we didn’t know anything about ourselves, anything about each other and most importantly, we didn’t know God. We were just floating around this world of possibilities.

Then we started living together. He soon found out my lips weren’t red. And I was four inches shorter, I had fake hair, fake nails and fake lashes. As if that wasn’t bad, I didn’t shower twice a day like him and many other things.

Ok, what about him Rachel, what did you found out? Well, I found out he delights in farting in my presence. To him, it was like a person going for a gold medal. I also noticed he didn’t pick up after himself and he burped–a–lot! Do you see where I am going with this?

Well, this article is not intended to air our dirty laundry but it has been almost 14 years now, I am still learning about myself, about him and about God. He is learning about himself, about me and about God. The good news is we have survived those early enigma days. There is so much I appreciate much about him that I can tolerate a burp. He has so much to admire that leaving dirty socks in the living room will not break a deal.

The grace of God drew me near to Him. That’s when I came to truly know the glimpse of myself. If I knew me fourteen years ago, I wouldn’t marry myself. If I knew me then, I wouldn’t let Dan fall into that trap. If I knew Dan the way God showed me in His word, I wouldn’t fall into him either.  I would have waited until I get to where I am now to truly give myself to someone–holy and acceptable.

Outward beauty deceives. Many fall for it. It started in the garden of Eden and continues to this day.

For an illustration, just about a year ago (2018), I had a young man for a client. He was the most good looking man I ever laid my eyes. I tell you, my body temperature shot up every time we were in contact whether in person or even via other means. This boy was a test sent to me from the pit of hell.

I worked with him for about two months. And we became closer. If I were to fall into the trap that was it. As our business relationship was coming to and end, I decided to invite him for a drink. It was just to thank him for his business. I wanted to know him as a person outside business. Plus he could be a future client or send me referrals. I treated him just as I would any other client even though I was more intrigued by him.

He took me up on my offer. We went for dinner and drinks. It didn’t take five minutes seeing the claws coming out of him. The person I knew for the entire two months was completely different from a person sitting next to me after just one bottle of beer went down. I knew right then the evening will be very long.

While I was already turned off by his swears every second, he wanted the night to be longer. He was hooked by me. He liked my company. He was just so comfortable and totally relaxed. We talked, we laughed, we were like old friends but I wanted that dinner to be shorter than I intended because I could not stand his language. My spirit was provoked within me.

The point is my body temperature went down after that evening. Everything that I saw on the outside of him for the past two months became ugly. The feelings I had for him went off the window. Five minutes was enough to reveal everything about a fallen man. Can you, imagine what would be like if I lived with him? Yet, this person is not only very handsome but also smart, have a nice job, he wear cologne, drives a nice car, he is ambitious. He has a lot going on but also he has the mouth. While his outward is as clean as well, his inside is like whitewashed tombs, which look beautiful on the outside, but on the inside are full of dead men’s bones and every impurity (Matthew 23:27), yikes!

I am so happy of a person I have become. There is power in knowing yourself. You’ll not only respect yourself more but also respect others with love in the Lord.

If you don’t know yourself you’ll easily fall for feelings, appearances and emotions. If you know yourself you’ll say to yourself, “How then could I do this great evil and sin against God?” Genesis 39:9. You’ll remember who you are committing treason against. It is not a person standing next to you. It is He whom you don’t see with your physical eyes. And a person standing next to you is as blind as you can get. He or she is crying for help. You are the one to help them see the light. For at some point you were as blind.

Therefore, I ask these men who hit on me today, “are you sure you want to go there?” See, I don’t know you. The Bible showed me who I real am. I am afraid you are worse. I don’t want you. I wouldn’t hit on you in a million years nor million dollars. Do you know yourself? I know myself and I am telling you, I am not that impressive––run.



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